Sacred Bonds and Experimental Connections
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (commonly known as the LDS or Mormon Church) maintains a highly disciplined moral code. Within this belief system, marriage is viewed not just as a human contract but as a sacred covenant between one man and one woman extending beyond this life into eternity. Yet, in some modern Mormon communities, certain alternative practices have quietly emerged, challenging traditional norms.
From Polygamy Roots to Present-Day Boundaries
In the mid-1800s, the Church endorsed plural marriage, referring to it as the “Law of Multiplicity” or “heavenly marriage.” This practice was framed as a divine imperative, tied to the idea of forming an “eternal family” that endures after death. Although the Church officially shifted toward monogamy in later years, remnants of non-traditional relationship concepts still surface sometimes even depicted in media such as the reality show The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives.
What Is Soft Swinging?
Soft swinging is a form of consensual partner exchange that stops short of full intercourse. Participants may engage in kissing, oral activities, sexting, and other non-penetrative acts, but sexual intercourse is omitted. It represents a more restrained version of traditional swinging.
Real-Life Insights from Taylor Frankie Paul
Mormon wife and social media figure Taylor Frankie Paul shared that within her immediate circle, occasional soft swinging encounters do occur. She didn’t label it as a popular trend but explained how it typically unfolds: a group of couples gathers in one room and engages in structured, playful scenarios. Intimacy is explored through controlled activities like kissing or oral exchange but without sexual penetration.
According to Paul, the purpose is to inject variety and excitement into long-term marriages, offering couples a way to explore novelty without betraying their commitment.
Who’s Drawn to This Lifestyle?
Soft swinging tends to appeal to specific profiles within Mormon circles, including:
-
Those who married young, with limited pre-marital experience.
-
Couples where one partner has a notably higher libido and seeks more stimulation.
-
Pairs discovering post-marriage sexual incompatibility, who face social or religious constraints against divorce.
In these situations, some individuals view soft swinging as an emotionally safer alternative to ending their marriage.
Psychological Perspectives
Renowned sexologist Dr. Gloria Brame argues that soft swinging doesn’t inherently signal relationship issues. She clarifies, “Wanting to experiment doesn’t automatically mean something’s wrong in the relationship.” For many, it’s a matter of curiosity or a desire to rekindle intrigue in an otherwise satisfying partnership.
The Pillars of a Healthy Arrangement
Dr. Brame highlights three essential components for success:
-
Open communication – ensuring both partners share expectations and concerns.
-
Clear boundaries – setting explicit rules around what’s acceptable.
-
Mutual respect – honoring each other’s decisions, even if one decides to step back later.
From her perspective, when both partners are comfortable seeing each other with others within agreed limits and maintain honest dialogue it can become a positive, enriching experience.
Why It’s Not for Everyone
Soft swinging is non-traditional and certainly not for everyone. Dr. Brame notes several red flags that suggest it may be inappropriate for some:
-
Jealousy: If even the thought of your partner with someone else causes distress, it could signify emotional harm.
-
Lack of transparency: Difficulty being honest undermines the trust needed in any form of consensual non-monogamy.
-
Boundary violations: A disregard for agreed rules suggests the arrangement may lead to betrayal or instability.
Weighing the Risks
Although soft swinging is sometimes marketed as a method to reinvigorate stale marriages, it carries notable risks. Reality shows and anecdotal reports reveal a high rate of eventual divorce among participants. Emotional strain, relationship complexity, and social stigma often overshadow the momentary thrill.
In the final analysis, soft swinging may offer a curious, borderline compromise between monogamy and more open arrangements. Yet its success depends on unparalleled levels of trust, emotional maturity, and mutual understanding. For some couples, it enriches their bond; for others, it demonstrates the fragility of an experiment or perhaps an experiment gone too far.
Read more blogs
