On Being Clear About What We Are, and What we are About
Even though we are all experienced escorts there is at times some reticence in us. We aren’t ‘bad’ and we aren’t ‘girls’ at all. We are women who have a healthy sex life.
We have encountered some African women who don't see 'hooking up' as prostitution. It is simply something to pay the bills. The words - prostitute, whore, hoe, -- either puts us off or we wallow I and revel in being ’bad bitches’ ‘slut’ The trouble with going down that road is that we play up to that negative stereotype that seems to empower certain to use violence against us. It is the road that end in beatings, rape and murder.
Some of us react with that prudery that we were brought up with. I remember in an email from a woman in Accra who had agreed to do just about everything with a client and then, when he used the word ‘prostitute, said,
“I am not a prostitute I am a student.”
The client, of course might well have stopped himself from saying something like.
“Well, when a client-stranger has his dick in you are NOT a student!' Like that.
We have to remember that many of us are complexed more or less by selling sex for money. We over compensate. We are not always clear in ourselves about our work. Sometimes we don't want to be too clear about it. We are in that regard, is a little like people who love to eat meat but can bear to think of what goes on in a slaughter house.
Having considered these things, these are our conclusions; the things that we believe.
- We believe that we are women who do work that we like. We like men who are respectful, articulate an attentive. We like money because it makes our lives possible.
- We believe that we are neither ‘hoe-bitches from Hell’, nor are we doing something ‘nasty’ unless of course we choose to be nasty), immoral or ‘wrong.’
- We do what we feel we need and want to do.
- We have our eyes open.
- We know we live in a society that is hypocritical particularly about matters of sex.
- We have experience of ‘Men of God’ who preach about the sanctity of the family and of the marriage bond, who have several wives, who are known to have sexually interfered with adolescents and children, who have gone unpunished because the child in question was too afraid to point the finger of accusation.
- We take pride on our work.
- To our clients we are sex companions and can be friends, confessors, surrogate mothers or sisters, buddies.
- We respect ourselves and our clients and demand the same respect from them.
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