I’ve lived long enough to see the world change in so many ways, yet one thing seems to remain stubbornly the same: people love to point fingers. And when it comes to sex work, the finger-pointing can be loud, moralizing, and relentless. But if you take a moment to look beneath the surface, you’ll find that judgment rarely comes from a place of pure righteousness. More often than not, it’s tangled up with fear, insecurity, or old wounds that never healed properly.
Where Does the Condemnation Come From?
When someone openly condemns sex work, it might sound like they’re standing on a pedestal of moral purity. But human beings are rarely that simple. I’ve seen women lash out at the very idea of escorts or webcam models, not because they care deeply about society’s morals, but because they’re terrified. Terrified that their husband might be sneaking off behind their back, logging on late at night to watch someone else. Terrified that desire can’t be contained by vows or routines.
And then there are those who were hurt in the past betrayed by a partner, lied to, left for someone else. For them, sex work becomes a symbol of every painful memory, every broken promise. Instead of facing those old scars, it’s easier to attack an industry that dares to exist outside the safe box of nine-to-five respectability.
The Roots of Prudishness
I sometimes wonder why prudishness still runs so deep, even in a world that flaunts sex in advertising, movies, and music. Maybe it’s because open desire scares people. If you admit that you crave something outside the narrow path society laid out, what does that say about you? For many, it’s easier to silence others than to face their own questions.
Prudishness is rarely about protecting morality. More often, it’s about controlling fear. Fear that the people we love might not be as faithful as we imagine. Fear that our own hidden desires could slip out in the wrong moment. Fear that someone else has the courage to choose a different life one that doesn’t fit the script of office jobs, factory shifts, and carefully mowed lawns.
Fear Behind the Attacks
Every aggressive outburst, every public campaign, every bitter comment online it all has roots. Sometimes those roots are jealousy. Sometimes shame. Sometimes the aching suspicion that “my partner could be one of those clients.” When people shout the loudest about the immorality of sex work, I can’t help but think they’re trying to quiet their own doubts.
It’s easier to demonize escorts than to admit you don’t fully trust the man who sleeps beside you. It’s easier to scorn webcam models than to confront the fact that you feel invisible in your own relationship. And it’s easier to paint sex workers as victims or villains than to accept that some women and men simply choose this path willingly, consciously, and with no apologies.
The Freedom to Choose
The truth is simple, though many resist saying it aloud: every adult has the right to decide what they do with their own body. Every adult has the right to choose what kind of work they do, whether it’s typing reports in an office or sharing intimacy for pay. And every adult has the right to decide whether to seek out the services of a sex worker or not.
Condemning that choice doesn’t make the world safer or relationships stronger. It only creates more shame, more silence, and more hidden lives.
A Different Way of Looking
So before anyone launches into yet another tirade about how “immoral” sex work is, perhaps the better question is: what am I really afraid of? Am I afraid of losing trust in my partner? Am I carrying pain from a betrayal I never dealt with? Or am I threatened by the simple fact that someone else dared to choose differently?
Judgment, in the end, says more about the person doing the judging than about the one being judged. If more people could understand that, maybe we’d waste less energy shaming others and spend more time dealing with our own hearts.
