To Men Who Seek Deep Connection

Men who seek deep connection go online. They’re willing to spend years of time, money, energy on finding it. But when one out of a million women finally offers the opportunity to create a deep connection, many men don’t want it. How is this contradiction possible? 

The problem lies in the fact that…

Men make the mistake of being impatient and wanting to go straight to sex. This unfortunately applies especially when men pay for supposedly deep connection, because men presuppose that the connection will automatically be deep as soon as they hand in the cash. But the reality is that even the women whom these men pay are human beings and connection between humans doesn’t happen at the wave of a banknote. Sex physicalises the connection between two people. When the connection is strong, the sex has high quality. When the connection is weak, the sex is mechanical. And when a connection doesn’t exist, the sex is mechanical, soulless, and out of obligation.

Obligation comes into play especially when men who seek deep connection pay for sex, because women do it for money. The fact that sex physicalises the connection between two people means that the quality of sex is always a mirror of the quality of the connection. Connection is not the same as love. One doesn’t have to love to have sex. But one has to connect to have sex. And since women do it for money, men seeking deep connection will ironically very rarely get it for banknotes. I don’t have to repeat myself – I already said it here.

2 examples

Just think of your connection with the wife, girlfriend, or life partner. Or if you’re single, think of the connection with the ex partners. If you are reading these words, your connection with the woman of your life can’t be strong. If it was, you wouldn’t be scouring the internet! Another example of this principle is that when two people meet, they are physically attracted to each other. The attraction draws them to being together. They develop connection through conversation. The more they find in common, the more they get to know each other’s beliefs, values, humour, personality, outlook on life, the stronger their connection grows. The stronger the connection, the more sex they have. This is why couples have the most sex in the first months of acquaintance. The other end of the continuum are couples married for decades that let the connection fizzle out. Where’s sex? Nowhere. Men go online seeking it from prostitutes.

How will men who seek deep connection succeed

Men should remember that patience is a virtue even when they pay for sex. The natural progression of creating a connection is:

1. man meets woman = physical attraction
2. the two people connect through conversation. They connect through what they have in common, how they think, beliefs, values, interests, intellect, personality, sense of humour, outlook on life.
3. the connection becomes strong = physical attraction.

If men go online seeking deep connection, they are responsible for starting it.  Waving banknotes won’t do it. Hence they must do it. When a man finds a woman who physically attracts him, he contacts her. Because he started the contact, he must make an effort to start the connection. If a woman does what she advertises to do, she will quickly continue to build a connection with the man. The man will know that he has found a gem. If the woman doesn’t continue building the connection, the man will know that she’s a money making machine whom he should avoid.

…and the benefits to all the men who seek deep connection will be…

Gentlemen, be patient and patience will definitely be a virtue. When you have the deep connection that you’ve been seeking (for years), you won’t have to spend more time, money, and energy on seeking more. You’ll look forward to seeing the woman with whom you connected and she will look forward to seeing you! That’s how it should be because if we are to be true to the phrase seeking deep connection, then we should look forward to seeing each other again and again. After all, that’s also the point of paying for connection! If you can’t sustain free connections, you should definitely sustain connections for which you pay! But it takes two to tango – it takes two to deep connection. So you, men, are equal parts of the process. Remember this. The rewards will be amazing!